I know the last post was very truthful and some may even wonder why did you write that. But, I just want to be able to clearly state the facts of how I feel and document this entire experience. Including the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Before I talk about the positive outlook I must go back a day. On Tuesday I had to go to the doctor for my 3-4 week appointment after my C section. I went and everything was great. The incision healed nicely and the doctor was very pleased. She discussed with me getting the vaccination for the tetanus and the whooping cough. The whooping cough is highly contagious for infants and can even lead to death. So needless to say, I got my vaccination. She also recommended that Spencer as well as Sawyer's grandparents get the vaccination; because adults can carry it (without knowing it) and pass it to infants. Infants in turn have a very difficult time fighting it. The shot itself did not hurt one bit and I am terrified of shots. But of course, I am going to do whatever I need to do to protect her. Well, Tuesday night my arm started hurting so I took a couple of Tylenol. I woke up around 1:30 AM shaking I was so cold. I had the chills and could not get warm and my body ached all over as if I had the flu. I woke Spencer up and made him go and find the thermometer. He claims I didn't have a temp, but I am not so sure. Anyway...I couldn't go back to sleep and then Sawyer woke up for her 2:30 feeding. It was all I could do to nurse her. However, I pulled through and I put her back down and she went right back to sleep. Such a little angel! Me on the other hand could not go back to sleep so I just lay awake tossing and turning trying to get warm. Then, 5:30 rolls around and she is ready to eat again. So I get up and go downstairs. Might as well start the day. I took more Tylenol and it kicks in and I finally begin to feel better, yet I am still exhausted from lack of sleep and feeling horrible the night before.
So Spencer had gone on to work and apparently called his mom and told her I wasn't feeling well. She and Grandmother rode down with Spencer's dad and watched Sawyer so I could get in an afternoon nap. I began to feel a little better after some sleep.
On to the more positive.....
Last night we gave Sawyer a bath with the sleepy time bath. Love that stuff!!!! Then I topped her off with a bottle I had previously pumped after one of her earlier feedings. I then put her down and she slept a whole 5 hours. I nursed her, put her back down and she slept until 6:15. I felt so rested when I woke up at 6:15. I felt as if I had actually gotten some sleep. Thank you sweet Sawyer!!!!
I also decided today that I was going to finally attend one the breastfeeding support groups. This was so helpful. I have a much more positive outlook on how to be able to continue to breastfeed once I return to work. Now it may not be 100% breastmilk, I may have to supplement with formula, but something is better than nothing. The lactation nurse was so helpful and made me feel so much better. Now, I can just inform Spencer, instead of him thinking he has a CLUE as to what he is talking about.
I believe we are headed in the direction of getting on a schedule that will work for us! We shall see, but at least today I am very POSITIVE about what is in store for the future.
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